Summing Up My 2019 – Kissing, Getting Sick, and Trusting More

A few weeks ago, I added one task to my organizer. It says, ‘write a blog post’. And while I am already tired from our long road trip, I wanted to end my year right  – by always doing what is planned. You know, sort of forming a habit or just trying to break procrastination.

Anyway, I don’t want to waste your time writing a lengthy post. I just want to do a quick recap of what I did this year.

What I Did in 2019

This Single Mom Dated a Bad Boy

I can’t really say that I fully dated someone. It was more of goofing around and trying to explore what the world has in store for me. It was less than a month of shallow romance if I am to categorize it.

Unfortunately, it didn’t work. But don’t worry – I wasn’t really affected. Perhaps, I wasn’t really looking for a partner right now. I honestly believe that I needed to love myself more and to really find my value.

I Got Hospitalized

Reality check, I am not getting any younger. I got hospitalized and even got sick months after. This never happened to me before so it was really a wake-up call. My resolution for next year definitely includes a healthier me – no excuses!

I Left My Stable Job

For almost five years, I was working for a good employer who taught me a lot of things. But deep inside I know that I am capable of doing more. I felt that the universe needed me to expand my wings and to step everything a notch. I had no idea what was about to happen but I just knew one thing – that I needed to get out, do what I love, and risk.

Several Hosting Gigs

Last year, I told my friends that I wanted to take events hosting seriously. The offers were seldom during the first half of the year. It was fine because I wasn’t really aggressive in promoting my services. I just had a few videos and just trusted that my abilities were good enough to get referrals and recommendations.

By the second part of 2019, I was shocked when I received regular hosting stints. And by December, I couldn’t even plot my schedule easily because of the demand. I was dead tired but fulfilled. I expect the same next year. In fact, I have offers for December already!

Got Jobs Unexpectedly

I have to admit, 2019 was really a financial struggle for me. After all, I left my stable source of income amidst the strong need for money. You see, it was my daughter’s 7th birthday and my mom’s 60th. Honestly speaking, my financial status at that time will not be able to afford even a decent one.  I thought I was doomed but on both occasions, I was offered huge projects that helped me cover the expenses.

I Trusted God More

And this is probably the best thing that happened to me this year.

Whenever I feel troubled, I would magnify my faith in God. Lo and behold, I was able to face these challenges with grace. And I honestly felt that it wasn’t me alone.  🙂

Soooo…

I don’t think I am making sense with this post. I mean, a year seems a long time yet I can only write less than 600 words. But I guess, it’s always about quality than quantity. I’ve got few memories that are blog post – worthy but it shaped me to (what I would like to believe) a better version of myself for the coming years.

 

 

I’m Back Again – And I Want to Write a Book

A couple of years ago, my dad asked me what I wanted to do. What am I passionate about? What will make me happy?

He asked me these things while we were on the road. We usually have heart-to-heart conversations during long rides.

I answered, “I want to write a book.”

He said, “Why not? You are good at it.”

Well, what do you expect? His response was really fatherly, wasn’t it?

A little bit of a backstory here though. On his 50th birthday, I have little money to spare to get him a grand present. After all, I got pregnant at 21.  Instead, I got him a scale model and he thought that was it. Little did he know that I wrote ‘sort of’ a book for him and it was filled with my childhood memories.

He got to read it, while in the CR (of all places). But just to be fair, he went out teary-eyed. He was even so proud of what I gave him.

Ok, so you know where he is coming from alright?

What am I going to write about?

This is a bit vague to me as of the moment. Clearly, it has got to do with me, my kids, my family, my work, my friends, or the people I just randomly watched in a coffee shop. It should include how I see life, how being a young mom changed me, how being a young single mom honed me to be better. Of course, let’s not forget how my heartbreaks crushed my dreams. Sort of a journal but more of sharing my inputs so that more people can focus on solving their problems too.

It’s very up in the air right now but if there’s one thing I am sure about, it’s that I want to do it. That’s going to be side-by-side with my plans of taking more training classes, hosting gigs, and construction projects.

Yeah, I need to hustle. I have two kids I need to feed. 🙂 

When am I going to publish it?

I will be very honest. I think I need to improve how to be consistent. In my opinion, I always have these ambitious and amazing plans in my head but often fail at execution. It’s probably a lack of motivation or just sheer laziness. Take your pick.

But things will have to be different now. 

This ‘young’ mom isn’t too young after all.

So today, I’m all for doing what I love and to more success for everyone. Cheers!

P.S. I’ll try to keep this blog updated and please check my Youtube Channel where I post random videos too! Don’t expect too much though. I don’t intend to be a YT star. I  just want to document some of my life’s precious moments.

What I learned after being hospitalized

When I got sick last week, I questioned God’s plan. I wondered, ‘Sa dami ko naman kailangang tapusin at ayusin, bakit ako pa? Pwede naman magkasakit yung mga tamad. Ako pa talaga.?‘

I was losing faith. Yes, I know… Ang babaw, but I wasn’t really emotionally and spiritually stable for the past months. Kaya siguro nga sumunod yung katawan ko sa paghina.

But when I was in the hospital, I realized so many things. I’ll share some with you (para naman feeling ko may contribution ako sa mundo).

– Listen to your body (Taon ko na binabalewala lahat ng sakit sa katawan ko. Lagi akong ‘next time’, or idadahilan ko na wala akong pera – kahit meron. So ayun nga, nagastusan ako lalo.)

– We all need to rest. I learned the hard way e. Pero please, huwag mo sagadin ang katawan mo. Investment yan! Matulog ka, mag vitamins, kumain ng ayos, at mag exercise. Balansehin mo ang trabaho at personal na buhay. Yang pera at karir, di mo madadala yan sa hukay.

– Get health card and update your Philhealth. Dito ako nainis. Bakit ba hindi ko binayaran ang Philhealth? Bakit ba naman I delayed that health card purchase? So ayun, ilang araw lang sa ospital, para akong naghanda sa fiesta. Friends, please…..gawin mo ‘to ngayon. Not tomorrow. Today!

And lastly, I learned….

– That I need help. That it is ok to ask for help. You see, alam ng pamilya ko na hindi ako humihingi ng tulong hangga’t kaya ko. Blame it sa napakataas kong pride. Akala ko lahat ay kaya ko at magagawan ng paraan. Hindi pala. Ikamamatay ko ang pride ko.

I had to call my parents so they can fetch me from Manila. From there, hindi ko na kaya umuwi, straight to the hospital talaga.

Para akong batang gustong magpa-alaga kay mama. Gusto ko lang nandyan siya. Minsan tinatarayan ko pa. At si papa, he paid for the rest of my bill (without me asking for it).

At that point naisip ko, kailangan ko pala talaga ng tulong kahit gaano pa ako kalakas or katalino or kagaling sa tingin ko. It was a humbling experience. Kailangan ko talaga sila.

Habang kinukuhanan ako ng dugo, at habang naghihintay ako ng resulta sa mga tests, naramdaman ko – hindi naman ako pinaparusahan talaga. Kinailangan ko na lang talaga magpahinga. Kumbaga, ‘forced’ na kasi ang tigas ng ulo ko.

Totoo, nag-worry ako dahil ang daming bills. Ang daming kailangang pagipunan. Pero as always, never naman tayo pinabayaan ni Lord, tiwala lang talaga. Tiwala lang.

P.S. Nagpapasalamat din ako sa kaibigan kong nag-alaga sa akin. Hulog ka ng langit.