How do you deal with rejection?

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At 28, I have had my fair share of rejections. I’m talking about failure in multitude aspect of my life. But you know, these failures are just doors to create something better. It’s just a matter of how you look at it. Use your failure as a stepping stone!

I am not telling you that it is bad to get sad. But let me tell you what – give yourself a couple of days to mourn and then that’s it.

Get a pen, plan and get your life back on track.

This Mom Wants to Get Fit!

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You see, I started biking a couple of months back, not to join the bandwagon but to simply improve my lifestyle.

As a work from home mom, and someone with multiple jobs at hand, I didn’t bother exercising. I thought, I didn’t want to push myself and get tired.

It all changed one afternoon.

For some reason, I noticed that our bikes were just sitting (without so much use) on our living area. From then on, I rode one of our bikes and never stopped.

To date, my longest ride would be a 38-km road with multiple slopes! That might be a piece of cake for some, but certainly not for me.

Biking is teaching me new tricks in life which I can use every day. Think about being disciplined, focusing on goals and obviously, aiming for it.

Why I decided to Leave One of My Jobs – Hint! Because Money Isn’t Everything

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Why I decided to Leave One of My Jobs – Hint! Because Money Isn’t Everything

I have multiple jobs. It’s not just because I am a workaholic. It’s because I want to give the best life my kids could have. Yes, their father supports them but to be brutally frank about it, it’s not enough to give them the life I have imagined. Thus, I used to have 5 jobs (excluding my sidelines for real estate and training gigs).

It came to a point that I earn more than those who are living and working overseas. In fact, I can easily get a car or house and pay for it without worries. Sounds cool, right? I mean, I get to earn well and at the same time, travel ‘poshly’ without spending so much. But believe it or not, I chose to drop one of my jobs – and this one can give me the best travel perks imaginable.

Why? 

1. There’s no point of working from home if you do not spend time with your kids 

Since I needed to juggle multiple jobs, I have jeopardized my time with the kids. I can only talk to them for less than an hour per day!

Not good.

When they grow up, I want them to remember me as someone they can talk to or play with, and not the mom who was a bit monstrous every time they attempt to talk to me while I finish some urgent tasks.

2. If you are not passionate about something, or at least happy with what you do – just leave! 

My family and friends know how passionate I am about work. But if I get emotionally drained, that’s when I leave.

Some people say that I am brave to do such. Maybe?

I guess this is one of our society’s challenges. We try not to leave our jobs because of emotional stress. After all, we have our responsibilities that will not stop even if we decided to leave our work. I’m starting to believe that we are afraid to leave our jobs because we feel that it’s the only thing we are good at and we are scared of new adjustments that might hit your finances bad.

I think, what we need to do is to invest on new learnings and use those to jump into a brand new career. This isn’t easy. But then again, I’d rather have enough cash on hand than carry an emotional baggage.

When you resign, rest for a while. But I don’t mean that you have to ‘slack’. Use the time to think of another strategy that will help you leap further.

3. Money isn’t everything, most especially if you have learned to live a simple life 

Teach them how to be #independent. #parenting

A post shared by BA Isla (@youngmommyba) on

If you know me, then you are probably aware that I love everything simple. I love simple clothes, simple gadgets and simple life in general. That kind of attitude was magnified when I became a mother and decided to instill the same principle to my kids. I think it works because I am proud to say that my kids do not easily get envious if other children have better and more expensive toys. Plus, they would thank you even if you buy them the cheapest ones you can find. They are not after the price, but they are after the value and the reason behind your gifts.

My daughter would always say this after I give her my gifts or ‘pasalubongs’.

“Did you buy this because you love me?”

I would, of course, say YES! Because I really do. And that’s her cue to hug me. Ahhhh, priceless!

Again, this doesn’t mean that I will stop looking for means to make it big somewhere. In fact, I am going to this huge conference few weeks from now, with high hopes to establish a network. Plus, I am back to learning the trends of Real Estate and finally break a sale which will allow me to build my own training camp. Well, that’s the plan for now. It is ambitious (I know) and it will be tiring. But at least I will get tired and exhausted for things I am happy about.

I guess what I am trying to say is that, you don’t have to drown yourself in things which will suck the fun out of your system. Of course, I am not pushing you to quit easily. But always try to gauge your boiling point. If there are things or people that you think are not beneficial for you, leave. The universe has so much to offer. Attract the ones that will make you happy. After all, what’s the use of being alive if you won’t live?

 

 

 

Who are we to complain?

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Are you always complaining about your life? Always seeing the bad side of things?

Well, have you tried turning the table around and see the great things about your life? You, being alive, for that matter.

You see, our happiness will not rely on other people, not on material things, nor on our achievements. If you always find reasons to complain, nothing will make you feel cheerful.

Watch my short video earlier today about my thoughts about regularly complaining  ☺

Your Guide to Social Media Etiquette

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Your Guide to Social Media Etiquette

Ok, here it goes. I know madami akong matatamaan (mostly my friends pa) with this post. But hey, I’ve stayed silent for the past few weeks and it’s about time that I tell you my piece. I can’t say I have an ‘A’ when it comes to Social Media Etiquette. Dumaan din naman ako sa stage na nagpaparinig at nagpapapansin with my posts on Facebook – isama mo na ang Friendster. But let me tell you what, when you reach a certain age (like mine – late 20s), baka dapat you check what you post. Hindi lahat ng ganaps and hanash mo sa buhay teh kelangan mo ibroadcast sa mundo. ☺

What are the things you should NOT post on your social media accounts (or at least limitahan man lang)?

1. Multiple selfies – GUILTY! Until one day, narealize ko na ang lakas maka-jejemon ng paulit- ulit kong pagpapa-cute! If maganda ang lighting, sige push and take shots. Wag mo na ipost lahat siguro. Pumili ka lang ng maganda -ganda, tapos pak na. Gets na namin na blooming ka, hindi na kelangan na benteng shots na iisa ang background. Kung COMPIDENCE ka, you don’t need to hoard for likes on Facebook. Putek, paano kaming mga hindi photogenic? Luge na agad. Hahaha!

2. Lahat ng kasosyalan na ginawa mo – Slightly guilty lang ako. Jologs naman ako at some levels so kinikilig pa din ako when I stay in hotels or I eat out. Syempre, ‘check in at’ agad ang drama natin most of the time. Pero please, iwasan natin yung ober ober sa ganito. Ok lang na maging proud once in a while. Lalo na if pinagpaguran mo ang kasosyalang natatamasa mo. Ok lang din na i-share mo kung gaano ka ka-naive sa dami ng kubyertos when you were invited sa isang dinner na kakaramput ang pagkain sa plato. Minsan lang kasi, nagiging insensitive na tayo and at times, nagmumukhang shallow in life. I can identify these posts into 3 categories.

A. Sharing the sosyal experience (plain and simple dahil talagang ka-post post ang kape mo)

B. Humble bragging (medyo niyayabang mo lang pero acceptable kasi mayaman ka talaga siguro or may storya paano ka nakabili ng sapatos mula sa humble beginnings mo na sipit na tsinelas mula sa palengke? )

C. Hambog posting (besh, bayaran mo muna utang mo! plain na pagyayabang – di ko alam objective nito e)

3. Personal views and beliefs – Actually this isn’t really bad to post. Pero let’s also respect the opinions and beliefs of other people. Naaalala mo pa ba kung ilan ang na-unfriend mo noong National Elections? Given na kasi na magkakaiba tayo ng pananaw sa buhay. Wag mong pilit isaksak ang gusto mo.

Dun na lang tayo sa context ng politics ok? Yun kasi ang natatandaan ko na halos mag gyera sa newsfeed ko e. Hindi mo kelangan laitin ang mga taong hindi boboto sa kandidato mo. Mas ok siguro na i-highlight mo bakit sya ang bet mo. Baka sakaling mapalipat mo pa ng desisyon ang ibang tao.

4. Problema mo sa personal life – Sabi nga nila, face your problem. Don’t facebook it! Sa totoo lang day, huwag mong gawin trial by publicity ang away ng pamilya or friends. Maging mature tayo at harapin ng ayos ang mga pinagdadaanan sa buhay. Kausapin mo ang tao, pag di umayos – IHABLA MO! Di na siguro kelangan pang ipost. Minsan pati, bias tayo e. Baka masobrahan ang sinasabi mo against other people. Brad, mahirap yan – baka makasuhan tayo pabalik. Or if may problema ka, kuha ka ng inspirational quotes. Para lang may babalik – balikan ka na reminder – tutal, ilang beses mo naman naiiscroll ang sarili mong timeline sa loob ng isang araw di ba?

5. Lastly, problema mo sa trabaho! – Dito ako sobrang asar e! Ginawa mo naman HR department ang  facebook? Doon ka talaga nag post ng reklamo mo e noh? Mali di ba? Pwede kasing daanin sa tama. If may problema ka sa trabaho mo, make a formal complaint. Gusto mo ipataas mo pa sa DOLE, pero kasi kung sa Facebook mo ilalagay yan, to be brutally frank – ikaw yung mukhang g*go. Para kang nagsusumbong na bata e. Tapos hindi mo ba naisip, ang dami mong friends sa office, sama mo na boss mo. Kung sana sinabi mo na ang issue at hindi nag – post agad, baka sakaling naayos ang problema. Dear, sayo nagrereflect lahat ng sasabihin mo against your company. Kasi if ako tatanungin mo, it’s either hindi mo kaya ang work, or hindi mo alam paano kausapin ang mga tao sa office ng ayos.

 

P.S. At kung may reklamo ka sa accounts mo, dear huwag mo naman ilagay yung company name. Baka kasi nakakalimutan mo na may Non – Disclosure – Agreement kayo. Patay ka pag nagkataon!

Hindi ako high – blood. Bihira ako magalit lalo na kung mga kaekekan sa social media. Pero minsan, kelangan ko na din magsalita (or mag type). Kasi sa tingin ko talaga, originally ang social media, ginawa with a positive objective e. Hindi yan para manira ka, maglabas ng galit or mag share ng negative vibes.

OMG, dadami na ang galit sa akin! 🙂

Your young mom,

B

 

 

 

Why I Don’t Gauge My Kids Based on Grades

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Why I Don’t Gauge My Kids Based on Grades

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When I became a mom and my son started going to school, I already created a mindset that I wouldn’t push them to get skyrocketing grades. What matters to me is that they learn, they do what they do best, and that their social behaviour develops properly.

Why am I writing this post?

I know some parents would push and sometimes force their kids to get good grades. While there is nothing wrong about having great grades on the report card, I sometimes feel that as parents, we should allow our kids to enjoy school, most especially in the first years.  Forcing them to get straight As at the age of 4 or 5 is never going to be fun! Except if your kids really show the interest in such. 

Where am I coming from?

Let’s backtrack a bit and you know, give you an idea where I am coming from.

I used to be grade conscious. I remember being one of the top students in the class, crying over an 86/95 score in an exam. It wasn’t healthy. For me, my ultimate goal was to get good grades, and not to learn. Obviously, that’s not a good motivation.

Ask yourself again, “Why would you go to school?”

If you answered, to get good grades’, I sincerely think that it is a shallow reason.

Going back,  I got tired of it and come 3rd grade, I was not included in the honor list.

Damn!

For a 9 year – old, the world shattered.

And then 4th Grade Started 

For some reason, I felt that I was quite mature for my age. At the age of 10, I told myself that I wouldn’t force myself to get high grades. Instead, I decided NOT to stress myself on academics and just focus on things where I am good at.

I was good at speaking and singing. I have bagged awards year after year (and I think my batchmates were already tired of hearing me sing). Kasi even the national anthem during the flag ceremony, ako na yung kumakanta!  Anyway, I even represented my school in big speaking competitions and won. Trust me, it wasn’t your usual competition where you’d already know your standing. It was hard and it was months of preparation. I knew I was good at it, so I worked my arse!  Yabang noh?

Point is, I knew back then that the school is much more than Science and Math or whatever subjects we had. I was a firm believer that we have different kinds of intelligence. Mine was a bit more on the artsy side, you know – music, linguistic and interpersonal intelligence. Sometimes I wonder why I got in the Science Curriculum section. Brad, yung mga classmates ko sobrang talino! Haha

I don’t want to make this post very long because I have a call in 30 minutes and I need to finish my reports. Again, I’ve seen parents getting sad because their kids were not able to make it in the top list. But for me, we have to show them that grades are not the gauge for success. You have to set an example that you believe in them, regardless if they get a 100 or a 75.  For me, the traditional schools can measure a minute part of one’s intelligence. But boy, the world is so big and your kids have so much to offer.

Observe.

Ask.

From there, see which areas your kids are good at. Then hone it.

Imagine this, they are improving their skills, while enjoying their childhood. Don’t torture them by feeding things which they are not yet ready to swallow. Although, I suggest that you help them create a study habit. Ah, which reminds me, can you help me with this one?

From your young WAHM, Love you, moms!