Child Support and My Personal Views

I am a single mom and somehow, I understand the battle for child support. In this post, I will try to explain my views on this hot topic. You may, or may not agree with me so I welcome comments.

When raising a child, money is really important. I won’t pretend that I don’t need help and quite frankly, life will be a whole lot easier if there is a fixed financial agreement from both parents.

For months, even years, I was affected on why my kids do not receive enough support. And I will be very honest – it sucks to wait. And it sucks more that other people think you are begging for money.

You see, I have an overflowing ego (and that is something, I need to change a bit). Because of that same ego, I did not ask for proper financial support. Until such time that I badly needed to.

For those who do not understand the ‘financials’ of raising kids, here’s a quick overview.

  • School Tuition
  • School Allowance
  • School’s Extra Curricular Activities
  • Food and Vitamins
  • Emergency (medical expenses)
  • Entertainment Allowance
  • Insurance

The last 2 are not mandatory, but highly recommended. We live in the province and the cost of living is generally lower. But to give you an idea, I spend at least 30k for the kids, and this does not include my rent and other bills.

So yes, working for 2 kids isn’t exactly a walk in the park. In my case though, I am lucky because God has given me great jobs to support our financial needs.

But let’s go back to a different take on ‘child support’.

It is actually more than the money.

Supporting a child is much more complex.

Our kids need time and affection. They need to have someone to look up to.

It’s not enough that you send them money. Instead, make them feel why you are sending them such.

If you are working overseas, make sure you call them regularly. Check on them. Greet them on special occasions and give them genuine words of wisdom.

But, if you can spend more time with them, do so.

Personally, it is easier for me to talk about delegating finances. And it is understandable if one will not be able to provide the amount he or she should be giving.

But TIME, AFFECTION, EFFORT? These are the things that are considerably FREE. Why would you deprive your kids of that?

So again, child support isn’t just money. There are more important things, fortunately free, to consider.


Making Good Things Out of a Bad Situation

Even if you are the most optimistic person alive, that doesn’t mean you are excused from the world’s challenges. In fact, most of the time, the world has a funny way of mocking you and will test your patience – all over again.

Anyway, the past couple of weeks were a little bit rough for me.

One employer delayed our salary because few of our colleagues didn’t work based on their expectations. Our boss decided to pause the project until such time that they have fixed everything. (Project will resume next week – thank God)

UPDATE: For some reason, the employer decided to just cut us all off and didn’t pay what is due. I got half of my salary but hey, life is better now. 🙂 

Another employer cut us off for some unknown and still vague reason.

I was rattled a bit because you know – bills! 😂 But instead of worrying too much, I decided to divert my energy into something more beautiful.

Since I had a lot of free time due to that ‘paused’ project, I used the time to build my real estate website. It was also the perfect opportunity for me to review my current listing. After all, I really wanted to go back in the field. You see, even if I love working from home, there is something about selling properties that makes me happy. So yes, the website is almost finished and I will share it with you once done.

Now, instead of asking questions why our contract was not renewed, I decided to make use of my time in applying for other jobs. Again, I used Such a blessing! For 3 days, I made it my commitment to send my resume to multiple employers every single day. You know what, in just less than 4 days, I got hired and mind you, the pay is just amazing!

Funny though because I was telling my friends that I can get a job in less than a week – and I did. I told you how firm my belief is on Law of Attraction, right?

I am sure there will be more challenges in the coming years, but as always, I will try to use it as a stepping stone for something even better.



Even Strong People Cry

How many times have I heard this, ‘You have a strong personality’.

Yes, I do. And at some point, I am really proud of it.

But behind that ‘facade’ is a little girl who wanted to be hugged. Behind that overpowering character is a young lady waiting for someone to realize that she is fragile, that she is – after all, a human being too.

I take challenges as if it is a puzzle to be solved. Most of the time, I get out of the ‘maze’ – on my own terms. But that doesn’t mean I don’t cry in the process – most of the time in the comforts of my own home.

Strong people get hurt. And we get hurt so bad because such doesn’t really happen a lot. 

Strong people get tired. And when we get tired, that means it has gone overboard. 

Strong people cry. And when we do, it’s because it pains us already. 

Strong people fake their smiles. Because we are expected to be strong even if at times we are at our weakest. 

And when these things happen, we question ourselves, ‘Where do we run to?’

For someone who’s the shock absorber, who’s going to absorb ours?

I sometimes think, should I cross the fence and just choose to be weak? Maybe by then, more people will realize that this strong person has soft spots too. That beyond that brick-like personality is someone in need of a simple question like ‘How are  you?’

…Or maybe, we weren’t strong after all. Because we fear to be weak.





Pay It Forward: Spending A Couple of Hours at Nazareth, Bahay Pag-Ibig San Pablo City (Home for the Aged)

It has been months, or maybe years, since I dreamt of organizing an event. With the support of my family, we were able to make it a reality.

This month, we went to Nazareth, Bahay Pag-Ibig, a facility that caters to older people.

Truth be told, it wasn’t hard to organize knowing that we only wanted a small gathering for them. Here’s what we did.

1. Coordinated with the organizers on the date, headcount, and the every day things they need.

2. Asked my relatives to contribute small amounts of cash.

3. My auntie volunteered to do the grocery shopping while I stayed in touch with the coordinator for the final details.

4. One of my aunties prepared the soup and asked other volunteers to come with us.

5. We were supposed to have a program but due to technical difficulties, we had to scratch it off. That was actually a good thing because we became more ‘personal’ with our lolos and lolas.

We had mixed emotions after our small event. Of course, we were happy for being able to put smiles on their faces. At the same time, it tore our hearts knowing that some of them still have their families who just stopped visiting them.

A couple of hours might be too short for some, but it’s enough for us to feel such strong emotions.

And yes, we’ll continue this act and pay it forward.

Late Post: Celebrating my Son’s 7th Birthday

Hey Friends,

It’s been a while, because (as always) I was busy with work.

Last month, we celebrated my son’s 7th birthday. Thank heavens because I got a new side job to help me pay for most of it.

I was always ‘messy’ and boy I loved how it manifested on my son’s birthday 🙂


I have to thank my parents and my entire family for making it possible. It was a simple celebration but I have to say – the kids loved it!

How much did we spend?

I was working on a strict budget but didn’t want to compromise the ‘fun’. Thus, I chose to have a pool party for my son. No need to rent clowns, face paints, and photobooths. 🙂

  • Venue, Tables, Chairs, Balloons – PHP 10,000 (Thanks Ma and Pa!)
  • Food and other Decorations – PHP 15,000
  • Videoke – PHP 700
  • Clothes – PHP 1500

We spent approximately PHP 27,200! Ok – make it PHP 30,000. It’s not really big for a 7th birthday, right?

Simple cake. Simple treats. But at the end of the day, everyone loved it!
I am so lucky my family knows how to cook.
Who needs clowns and face paints when you have a pool?


Here are some ‘Behind-The-Scenes’:

My family is so supportive!

What I am trying to say is that you don’t have to throw a grand party, most especially if you can’t afford it. What matters most is that you remember the reason for the celebration.


P.S I have 2 years to prepare for my daughter’s 7th!

Trust God’s Plan and You Will be Fine

I just want to share with you my quick story where I gave my full trust to God.

Ok, so almost lost my job because a lot of writers for the company that I work for submitted mediocre write-ups. Our manager was furious and decided to kick us all.

I was a bit sad because the money from that ‘raket’ was supposed to be for my son’s birthday. I had no idea where to get extra money and of course, I still have bills on the way. For some reason, I was calm when I heard the news. I prayed and asked for God’s guidance. I said, “I am lifting everything to Him”.

After an hour, I received a message that I will still have my job back and that I am one of the best writers in the team. I needed to do a last ‘test’ to have my job back and apparently, got it.

During my exam, I asked God to send me the Holy Spirit to help me get through it. AND I DID!

I am not saying that you just sit down and wait for His plans to materialize. You have to do your part. As cliche as this may sound, You do your best and God will do the REST.


Good night!

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