I am a single mom and somehow, I understand the battle for child support. In this post, I will try to explain my views on this hot topic. You may, or may not agree with me so I welcome comments.
When raising a child, money is really important. I won’t pretend that I don’t need help and quite frankly, life will be a whole lot easier if there is a fixed financial agreement from both parents.
For months, even years, I was affected on why my kids do not receive enough support. And I will be very honest – it sucks to wait. And it sucks more that other people think you are begging for money.
You see, I have an overflowing ego (and that is something, I need to change a bit). Because of that same ego, I did not ask for proper financial support. Until such time that I badly needed to.
For those who do not understand the ‘financials’ of raising kids, here’s a quick overview.
- School Tuition
- School Allowance
- School’s Extra Curricular Activities
- Food and Vitamins
- Emergency (medical expenses)
- Entertainment Allowance
The last 2 are not mandatory, but highly recommended. We live in the province and the cost of living is generally lower. But to give you an idea, I spend at least 30k for the kids, and this does not include my rent and other bills.
So yes, working for 2 kids isn’t exactly a walk in the park. In my case though, I am lucky because God has given me great jobs to support our financial needs.
But let’s go back to a different take on ‘child support’.
It is actually more than the money.
Supporting a child is much more complex.
Our kids need time and affection. They need to have someone to look up to.
It’s not enough that you send them money. Instead, make them feel why you are sending them such.
If you are working overseas, make sure you call them regularly. Check on them. Greet them on special occasions and give them genuine words of wisdom.
But, if you can spend more time with them, do so.
Personally, it is easier for me to talk about delegating finances. And it is understandable if one will not be able to provide the amount he or she should be giving.
But TIME, AFFECTION, EFFORT? These are the things that are considerably FREE. Why would you deprive your kids of that?
So again, child support isn’t just money. There are more important things, fortunately free, to consider.