Confessions of a ‘STUBBORN’ Mom, Making Firm ‘Life – Changing’ Decisions

I was always hard – headed (so they say). For some, I’m am no short of being stubborn. But you know what, my optimistic and renewed self thinks otherwise.

I am not a rebel.

I am not stubborn.

I outgrew that stage already and have become an adult who can make her own decisions  is trying her best to be firm with her decisions..

Now, why am I saying this?

Few people might misinterpret my new found independence. They believe that I just wanted to cleave for selfish reasons (to get off my parents’ radar). But that’s wrong. In fact, those people who love and care for me have already understood the benefits of me leaving my parents’ house even before I opened this decision to them. And I am so thankful for it. I am very grateful for my family and friends who are supportive. And as much as I don’t need to explain my so – called ‘stubbornness’ I feel that I have to because it will help not just the young moms out there, but those who are now willing to take another chapter in their lives – become a responsible adult.

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While deciding to let go is a tough decision, being free has tougher consequences and you have to be ready for it.

MAKING A TOUGH DECISION

It was hard for me to let go of my childish ways. But I need to make a decision not just for myself, but for my kids. I know that they will look up to me and I want them to see their mom as someone who takes challenges head-on. Of course I can give them words of wisdom (the same things which my parents shared with us), but you see, I believe I can hone them to their fullest potential by doing these 2 :

  1. By setting a good example
  2. By letting them commit their own mistakes so they could learn from it.

So I did what I have to do – MADE A LIFE – CHANGING DECISION.

I looked for a house and decided to live on my own.

BUT DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO LEAVE YOUR PARENTS’ HOUSE? (I see you are still confused and if I am correct, you are raising an eyebrow. So here’s more to prove my point. )  

The answer is NO.

Some of you might say, “You can just contribute to the expenses” or “What does it have to do with having a new house (which by the way is just 50 steps away from my parents’). I understand what you are saying but here’s my piece about it.

My parents did not approve of this when I first told them I was moving out. They had so many concerns most especially that I’m working and might not be able to look after my kids. But you see, they have raised a tigress. My dad was strict and was a disciplinarian and my mom balanced the toughness. I have to commend their ways because it made me tougher. Sadly for some, they think it was being stubborn. Truth be told, I might not like all my parents’ ideas and stand in life  and I might be very vocal about it, but that doesn’t equate to being disrespectful. Because I will always respect  them. With all the things they have gone through in life – they earned it, they deserved it.

While they had doubts of me being on my own – they respected it. It clearly showed that they trust me. After all, my decision to leave  is MY WAY of telling them that they have raised me well and that finally, I can do it on my own. Yes, I may not be the perfect daughter, but they have done their best for me to be firm and tough. And I would like to believe I am strong to shove off whatever this world throws at me.

I did not do this just because I wanted to break their hearts – because I already did that (unintentionally) a couple of times.  But I have to reiterate that it was MY WAY of learning.

Remember when you were about to go to college and your parents asked you where you wanted to study? And then you’d think about the degree you want to pursue at that time and from there, you chose the colleges and universities best for your choice. For me, that was my logic. I needed to leave and build a home to satisfy my hunger to learn greater things about life.  

AND HERE’S MY ADVICE FOR YOU

You can have your own big decisions like finally getting your own car, or paying for the house bills. It’s just that for me – I think this is the best. I might be wrong, or I might stumble months from now – but that’s the fun part of it. You’d learn new things from the good and the bad experiences. Plus, you won’t have to  blame other people for your actions. You will always go back to your decisions and the good thing about it is that there is no way but up/ out- ALWAYS (in case you get in trouble). After all, everything in this world is a game of survival.

WHAT HAVE I LEARNED SO FAR

In case you don’t know my friends, living on your own – more so managing your own house takes gazillion responsibilities. I have to clean, cook, check the groceries, remember the due dates of the bills etc. Tiring, but obviously, it’s giving me a pass to a new school of life called – adulthood. I’m still learning and in the process, my kids will learn great things too (and I’m not just talking about cleaning up their toys).

Yes, I still miss those days when my mom would just call me for lunch instead of me cooking our own meals. I still miss those days that my money would go to my weekly vice to meet friends and colleagues in the metro. But then again, I’m experiencing new and better things and that’s fine with me.

 

 

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