My Brother was an A@%hole – Inspiring Story of my Literally ‘Big’ Brother

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I know this blog is about young moms, but this time I want to write something about a person who inspires me… And HE is not a mom (obviously).

My older, and only brother. AK. 🙂

So how should I start this?

Maybe I’d give you some trivia on how my brother and I roll.

Fact 1. We love debates. We seriously love to debate. And then we’d usually end up fighting!

Fact 2. We love horror movies and crime and investigation channel. We are both fascinated by infamous murderers!

Fact 3. We love speed. He’s a great driver though. I, on the other hand, tried to mimic his moves years ago, and I ended up with a ‘fugly’ neck brace. Thank you very much.

Fact 4. We are both public speakers.

Fact 5. We are pain in the arse! We are just lucky we have the best parents. Otherwise, we would end up in the bin.

Fact 6. Many thought we were a ‘couple’. Brother, I have high standards. *wink*

Fact 7. He loves to go out while I drown myself in books. Nevertheless, he’s a wide reader too.

Fact 8. We consult each other for fashion tips. He actually picked my graduation ball dress way waaaay back.

Fact 9. For years, he treated me as his older sister!!! I looked after him and begged him to get his act straight.

Fact 10. We are the backup of each other. If he’s down, I’ll be there. When I am down, I don’t have to worry. I’m certain that he is going to be there for me. He was actually the first person from our family to know that I was pregnant (both pregnancies). See posts from here and here.

Now, why do I brag my brother so much? Here’s why.

  • He was an a@#hole who didn’t attend his subjects during college. He failed most of it actually (due to excessive absences).
  • He stopped going to school.
  • He spent my parents’ money for ‘God-knows-what’. I am telling you, it’s a hefty amount!
  • He made my college life miserable! Or so I thought.
  • He fooled our parents by giving fake grades and seriously thought he could get away from it. (That was stupid Kuya. Really!)
  • He was so impulsive, he got married after months of dating his best-friend.  

For quite some time I thought he was hopeless… And I thought he was making the worst decisions again. But I was wrong.

He was more than a sports-car driving guy.

He was more than a flunking student.

He was more than a rebel child.

He was more than an unemployed late 20-ish guy.

He was more than that…

I was relieved when he stopped going to school. That meant, he wouldn’t spend so much since he will live with us. But he was not getting any younger. He was on his late 20s and still unemployed. I was bothered by that. Nevertheless, we all knew he could land a job, and so he did.

He was doing pretty well. In fact, he was commended by his colleagues and superiors. But his not-so-huge salary became an issue. I didn’t want him to resign because I felt that his job would teach him valuable lessons in life. But he did. My hard-headed brother jumped off the cliff one more time. That freakin’ a@#hole! I told myself.

I decided to just let go of him. I let him do his own thing. After all, he was already married to his best-friend. Yes, that was another thing that bothered me. My brother, the impulsive one! He got married without a job, without savings, without a plan. That was nice (eyes rolling). I was in for another roller coaster ride.

I thought this was a bad decision. But getting married to my now sister-in-law was one of the best things he did. He became more responsible, more focused and more disciplined. I don’t know, maybe it’s about his wife’s cooking and baking skills, or his wife’s undying support from day 1. I don’t know. (note: Better bake me some goodies Pam. I’m serious)

True enough, his marriage started his good fortune. Yes, his first ‘real’ job didn’t end well, but months after that, the good luck came like a bullet train.

My father met a client who was able to open up a huge gate for my brother’s career. If you say coincidence, we say otherwise.  He’s now working for a good company overseas which allows him to go home every month. The pay is good, the benefits are even better. And by the looks of it, my brother gives his 100% at work.

I don’t want to tell the nitty gritties of this story just yet. Or else, I won’t be able to finish this on time.

Just a quick back story, my sister- in-law was pregnant and during that period, my brother was jobless. But just barely a month before her due date, my brother got the job, quickly left the country and the company was able to secure the medical benefits of his family. To top that, only the best hospitals in the Philippines are accredited by their medical insurance. He paid almost PHP 0!

He’s not living an extravagant life as of now. But he’s living a happy life, which (I think you would agree) is far better.  

Now, what did I notice from my brother? These observations made me learn a lot of things.

He knows himself.

Even if most of us pushed him to fix his life (by saying how to do it), he was still in control. Obviously, he didn’t do most of our advice, but he didn’t slap it on our faces either. He knows what he wants with his life. I, on the other hand, tried to please people around me, even when that meant doing things without my heart in it. He taught me to know exactly what I want and to be firm. After all, we’re not kids anymore. We are old enough to make decisions on our own.

He knows how to prioritize.

He can easily buy a larger house and brand new cars, but opted not to. He lives a simple life and apparently, a happy one. That aura is clearly reflected within their humble home (a small 2-bedroom house with overflowing groceries).

He can buy expensive clothes, but chooses to visit Divisoria when their time permits.

You get the picture?

Great!

That’s also one of the reasons I went back to my kids. I have chosen my priority. I’d rather wear my worn-out jeans and flats running after my kids, than wear brand new stilettos.

But of course, I don’t question his obsession with car-parts! 🙂 

He is a believer.

I have written a post about believing, check the link here. Now I am actually telling another story of a person who believed that he can make it.

I thought he was just some lazy arse, easy-go-lucky kind of guy. But my brother is a certified optimist and it was very rare that I saw him worried about anything. He taught me to take things lightly even when it seems too much to handle.

I used to be a worry-wart. But now, I think I’m a bit more relaxed and chill, which makes my entire life happier. He taught me to believe in my abilities. He taught me to believe in good things.

He is a risk –taker.

And since he believes that he can do almost anything (borderline mayabang, 🙂 ), he takes a lot of risk. No, I’m not talking about car- racing as his hobby. I’m talking about taking risks in general.

Did you know that they decided to purchase a house even if they didn’t have savings? But maybe, that became his motivation to look for a more stable job. Plus, I think he already calculated the risk before jumping into it. I wouldn’t know. But he sure did a great job!

He is not afraid to leave his comfort zone. That’s why he was able to invest a lot on his experience. He was brave enough to conquer his fears (except frogs, maybe). He has that ‘what’s-the-worst-that-could-happen’ attitude which I truly admire.

He pays it forward.

Even if he’s already earning good, he doesn’t brag about it. Instead, he lives an epitome of someone who believes that he can make it big, regardless of what life has brought him in the past. You can feel his genuine urge to help other people. Until now, you will see him as someone in hole-dominating shirts, auto-mechanic wannabe that eats street foods whenever he wanted to. He tries to help us in ways he could. Not just by giving us money, but by giving words of wisdom, which I am sure came from his actual experiences.

My brother is celebrating his birthday today! So yes, this is really my gift because I am still on my way to being rich! 

It was just few years ago when his life was chaotic as hell and I couldn’t be more proud of his achievements. I have seen him transformed from a boy, to a man, to a ‘not ideal’ brother and boyfriend, to an ideal father. For sure, this tall, dark and somehow handsome brother of mine will reach greater milestones. And while he’s doing that, I’d humbly stay on one side, waiting for my next allowance from him. 🙂

Love you Kuya! See you later..

Photo taken more than 20 years ago!

BA is a young mom of 2 wonderful kids. She has high ambitions and would like to touch hearts. If you wish to write her a message, please send it to ba_isla@yahoo.com   

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One response »

  1. Pingback: A Little Something for My Brother – YOUNG MOMMY B.A.

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